Faith To Soar

Confronting someone who has hurt you is good. The Bible, in fact, encourages it. But, in confronting that person, don't try first to analyze that person, draw conclusions from your analysis and then confront him with that analysis. Your analysis might be wrong and you'll merely manage to hurt that person.

For instance if someone owes you money and has failed to pay, find out first why he wasn't able to pay. Don't draw rash conclusions such as the person not having integrity, or his reasons not being true, or being too proud. Worse, don't confront the person with another person's judgment of him.

You'll only hurt that person and make matters worse.

When you need to confront someone who has hurt you or who owes you, the Bible likewise exhorts us to bring a third party. Confront with meekness, not as a conquering hero bent on humiliating the person, but with compassion. Be firm if you need to show the gravity of the offense but be ready to forgive.

Money or your hurt feelings should not take precedence over relationship. For all you know the person who has hurt you or owes you may be going through a difficult time and may be needing comfort and encouragement.

Let love be the motive and you've already solved the problem more than half way.

---------------

Free Bible studies for Young Professionals. Click here.

One of the challenges of leading a youth ministry is sustainability. A youth ministry has to have impact enough to keep the youth attending meetings regularly.

This means that, if you're a youth pastor or leader, you have to engage your youth in ways you can keep them committed to their faith and ministry. It's a learning process that you need to go through even as you mentor young people.

To stop learning is to stop ideas from storming your brain.

Here's an excellent article by Mark De Vries entitled, "Two Words that Can Kill Your Youth Ministry." Click the link below:

To say that pride is subtle is an understatement. It's much more cunning than that.

Pride can be likened to an undetected virus that enters your bloodstream and causes underlying changes in character so deceptive that the afflicted person begins to believe his egocentricity is a blessing to those he encounters and any opposing thought is wrong.

Take David, for example. Having seen Bathsheba, he makes decisions that pave the way for him to marry her, which include sending her husband to the battle front where chances of survival were almost nil. It was akin to sending him to his death, but with the reason he died in battle so David would not be accused of murder.

But murder he did commit! It took Nathan the prophet to let David see that. And yet, when Nathan allegorically told him about a man who used his power to oppress another, David even demanded to know who it was, not realizing it was him being alluded to until Nathan pointedly said, "It is you!"

Pride can be that way. It makes you believe you're right. It makes you believe you're superior. Thus, it makes you believe your decisions should take supremacy over all regardless who gets hurt. All along you believe that nothing about you has changed.

The good thing with David is he realized what he did and repented before God. He was forgiven but he still had to suffer the consequences of his prideful action.

It says in the Bible, "Pride gos before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall" (Prov. 16:18 NLT). And: "But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted" (Matt. 23:12 NLT).

You don't even have to be a Christian to know what pride can do. A widely-used quote states, "Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make proud."

So how do you protect yourself from pride rearing up its ugly head before it's too late?

Examine yourself in the light of God's word. "God's word is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged sword and cuts as deep as the place where soul and spirit meet, the place where joints and marrow meet. God's word judges a person's thoughts and intentions" (Hebrews 4:12 GW).

This is how David puts it as translated in the New Living Translation: "Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me, test my motives and affections" (Psalm 26:2 NLT).

We open ourselves to Biblical scrutiny when we desire to live by its precepts. The more we get deeper into God's word, the more constant and continuous is our self-examination. Humility is then sought after, pride is exposed and Christ-likeness becomes the motive.

(Note: If you don't know the story of the Good Samaritan, read it first: Luke 10:30-35)

1. He didn't make excuses not to help the man. What kind of excuses could he have given? I'm too busy. I'm in a hurry. I have to feed my children. I'm late for church service. What excuses could the priest and Levite be thinking of as they passed the badly-beaten man? How many times have we done the same when someone badly needed our helping hand?

2. He didn't withhold anything to help the man. The story tells us that the Samaritan bandaged the man. Perhaps he tore off parts of his clothing to do that. He also placed the man on his horse, opting to walk instead. Then he even gave the innkeeper money and promised to give more if needed. To help the man, the Samaritan was willing to give of himself and what he had. It's a picture of love in action. In contrast, the actions of the priest and Levite are pictures of denial. Love heals; apathy adds insult to injury.

3. He didn't say a word. He didn't condemn the man. He didn't blame him for falling into a bad situation. He didn't try to speak words of encouragement (would it have helped?). He just went and helped the man and even took him to a place of safety. The only time he spoke was when he promised the innkeeper to return and pay any extra expense. The Samaritan didn't walk the talk. He moved and it said mountains about what love really means.

4. He didn't stop with a one-time help. He promised he would return and pay the innkeeper back for extra expenses incurred. A lesser person would have stopped with taking the man to the inn and say that he'd done enough. Perhaps so. Yet, love is doing more than enough.

That's what Jesus did: more than enough; much more, in fact. And that is what is expected of Christians, to go beyond the ordinary. Jesus promised that to his followers, that they would do greater things (John 14:12)!

Christian, what are you prepared to do?

Is it possible to bring spirituality into the workplace? I believe it is. However, let us define what spirituality is not.

It isn't a skill. Nor is it a type of personality. And, definitely, it isn't an activity. Let's define spirituality the way the Apostle Paul did.

In Philippians 3:1 he wrote: "Now then, brothers and sisters, be joyful in the Lord."

Be joyful.

What simplicity and yet what profundity! It's simple because it's not a hodge-podge of mambo-jumbo that tries to explain the intricacies of the universe and where you fit in. It's profound because of the qualification that follows the exhortation: "in the Lord." This means we need to seek the joy that our relationship with God can bring.

Many times we seek God for his blessings; or for him to get us out of a tight jam; or for healing. There's nothing wrong about these, but rarely do we seek him for his joy. Our hearts can be deep reservoirs of joy that can withstand the afflictions of life. Joy can then overflow to touch other lives.

It is the joy of the Lord that causes us to be of service to others. It is the joy of the Lord that gives us the compassion to lend a listening ear to those who seek counsel. It is the joy of the Lord that gives serenity in the midst of conflict.

"The joy of the Lord is our strength" (Nehemiah 8:10), the Bible reminds us. It is this inner strength that makes people take notice and afford you the opportunity to testify as to where this strength comes from.

Yet, spirituality is not about flaunting what you have. It's about radiating an inner glow that gives warmth to those who have only known the coldness of this world. Bring that to the workplace and you bring God with you.

Forgiveness. It's one of the hardest endeavors; yet, it can bring us to the path of blessings.

Forgiveness is difficult primarily because of pride. Pride is always the wall that hinders us from putting on the character of Christ and, thus, keeps us from the path of blessings.

The Bible exhorts us to "be merciful just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:36). Mercy is an act of blessing. To withhold it from someone is to reject it from God.

Forgiveness is a spiritual blessing that opens the door to other kinds of blessing. Prov 19:11 reads: "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his GLORY to overlook an offense" (capitalization mine). Contrary to this, if we are unable to forgive, we become bitter, angry, vindictive; which makes us numb to healthy relationships and blind to opportunities.

When asked by Peter how many times should he forgive an offense, Jesus answered him, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matt 18:22 NIV). Yet, it is not from the mouth whence forgiveness should begin, but from the heart, for forgiveness is an issue of the heart.

It is the fruit of character. It arises out of intimacy with the author of love, Jesus Christ. Without love, it is impossible to forgive from the heart. John 3:16 tells us, "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son ..." It was this same love that caused Jesus to cry out from the cross, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

It is out of this same love that God exhorts us to forgive. To not forgive is to be bitter. To forgive is to become someone better.

I had wanted to add my .02 cents worth on the essence of Christmas, but I realize that countless others would be trying to do this.

There's really nothing wrong with writing about one's thoughts on Christmas, but it can be a bit worn-out for the average reader.

So allow me to just direct you to a story I found in CNN. This, I believe, is the essence of Christmas. Go ahead and read it here. Please feel free to comment here about the story.

Meanwhile, do have a joyous Christmas!

Last week, as part of my job as guidance counselor, I asked a female high school freshman to come into my office so I could ask her about her class. Although already in the afternoon, she came with hair obviously newly-combed, her uniform tidied up and a refreshing perfume that I noticed right away.

As I finished talking with her, I asked her about her perfume and she named a brand and then I complimented her for her choice. Long after she left my office, the scent of her perfume lingered.

I then started to remember the story in the Bible of the woman who poured expensive perfume on Jesus. My, how the scent of that perfume must have lingered long after the woman left! I then thought, "Does the scent of my offering to God linger?"

What can make the scent of my offering to God linger? Would it be the costliness of my offering? Would it be tears shed as I give my offering? Would it be something extra akin to the woman wiping Jesus' feet with her hair?

Then a verse in the Book of Psalms answered: "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise" (Ps 51:17 NIV).

It is the brokenness of our hearts poured out to God that makes the scent of our offering linger. It is the heart that can shamelessly cry out to God: "Lord, I need you more than anything in this world! Fill me, consume me, mold me! Make me more like you!"

In emptying our hearts before the Lord, he then fills us with his essence, so that we may in turn be a sweet aroma for him unto the world.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. -James 1:2-4

The verse above exhorts us to "consider". One of the meanings of the word, "consider", in the Meriam-Webster dictionary is to come to judge or classify. Or define.

What is the verse above asking us to define? Various trials. And what is God's definition? Joyful.

Yet, how do we define trials? Difficult, unwanted, unfair, despairing, discouraging, the list can go on and on. Ultimately, our own definitions of trials and crises of all sorts lead us to self-destruction.

Where does God's definition lead us? Endurance which results into perfection and completeness. Wholeness is another word. We might think that a crisis is tearing us apart. God, however, is in reality making us whole. This is why we need to always read the Bible. It's God's dictionary of definitions.

When God defines, I'm refined.

"My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family." -Gideon

Talk about low self-esteem! But that's how Gideon described himself when the angel of the Lord appeared to him (Judges 6:15).

It was understandable. During that particular time Israel was in hiding. They harvested during the night under cover of darkness and in silence. They feared being over-run by their enemies who would steal their harvest and enslave some of them. In more free circumstances, harvest was carried out in the day time with singing. So it was a shame for Israel to be playing a cat and mouse game with its enemies, Israel being the mouse.

Low self-esteem. What causes it? If we take a look at Gideon's story, we can glean a few and know how to overcome them.

1. Fear. It's one of the first of mankind's emotions. However, be aware that fear can be both debilitating and energizing. For Gideon and his people it was debilitating. If we were to follow Gideon's frame of mind, we could say they had the lowest of low self-esteem.

How can fear be energizing instead? You let it motivate you and not make you cower. The angel made Gideon realize they could face fear head on and defeat it; or let fear relegate them to a life of hiding.

Former US President Franklin Roosevelt once said: "The only thing we need to fear is fear itself." Know the cause of your fear and your more than half-way in conquering it. More often than not, when we discover what's behind our fears, we discover they're not reason enough to cause fear.

2. They didn't know their strength. The angel told Gideon, "Go in the strength you have..." (Judges 6:14). The angel could have added, "Not in the weaknesses YOU THINK you have" (capitalization mine).

Many times we dwell in our weaknesses even though many of our weaknesses are mere thoughts. Dwell instead and build on your strengths. The Apostle Peter had this to say: "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 1:5-9).

Peter certainly built on his strengths. From a fisherman he became one of the authors of the best-selling book of all time.

3. They weren't at peace. I'm not just talking about the conflict Gideon's people had with their enemies, but the conflict within themselves. Gideon's questions to the angel reveal an inner conflict. He was not at peace with himself. He, along with his countrymen, was not at peace with other people. The very core of these outer and inner conflicts was that they weren't at peace with God.

Thus, when Gideon knew God had a purpose for him, the Bible tells us he "built an altar to the LORD there and called it The LORD is Peace" (Judges 6:24).

Much of our inner turmoil can be traced to a turmoil with God in the form of guilt, unforgiveness, bitterness and the like. Inner turmoil causes low self-esteem.

Thus, forgive yourself, first of all. Don't torture yourself with past failures or mistakes. Know that failures and mistakes are there to make you a better and stronger person. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, "Out of life's school of war: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger."

Forgive yourself; then forgive those who've hurt you and ask forgiveness from those who've offended you. Then ask forgiveness from God. Being at peace with God, others and yourself gives you a fresh start to building up self-esteem.