Dean Mapa: June 2008 Archives

Confronting someone who has hurt you is good. The Bible, in fact, encourages it. But, in confronting that person, don't try first to analyze that person, draw conclusions from your analysis and then confront him with that analysis. Your analysis might be wrong and you'll merely manage to hurt that person.

For instance if someone owes you money and has failed to pay, find out first why he wasn't able to pay. Don't draw rash conclusions such as the person not having integrity, or his reasons not being true, or being too proud. Worse, don't confront the person with another person's judgment of him.

You'll only hurt that person and make matters worse.

When you need to confront someone who has hurt you or who owes you, the Bible likewise exhorts us to bring a third party. Confront with meekness, not as a conquering hero bent on humiliating the person, but with compassion. Be firm if you need to show the gravity of the offense but be ready to forgive.

Money or your hurt feelings should not take precedence over relationship. For all you know the person who has hurt you or owes you may be going through a difficult time and may be needing comfort and encouragement.

Let love be the motive and you've already solved the problem more than half way.

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Free Bible studies for Young Professionals. Click here.

One of the challenges of leading a youth ministry is sustainability. A youth ministry has to have impact enough to keep the youth attending meetings regularly.

This means that, if you're a youth pastor or leader, you have to engage your youth in ways you can keep them committed to their faith and ministry. It's a learning process that you need to go through even as you mentor young people.

To stop learning is to stop ideas from storming your brain.

Here's an excellent article by Mark De Vries entitled, "Two Words that Can Kill Your Youth Ministry." Click the link below:

To say that pride is subtle is an understatement. It's much more cunning than that.

Pride can be likened to an undetected virus that enters your bloodstream and causes underlying changes in character so deceptive that the afflicted person begins to believe his egocentricity is a blessing to those he encounters and any opposing thought is wrong.

Take David, for example. Having seen Bathsheba, he makes decisions that pave the way for him to marry her, which include sending her husband to the battle front where chances of survival were almost nil. It was akin to sending him to his death, but with the reason he died in battle so David would not be accused of murder.

But murder he did commit! It took Nathan the prophet to let David see that. And yet, when Nathan allegorically told him about a man who used his power to oppress another, David even demanded to know who it was, not realizing it was him being alluded to until Nathan pointedly said, "It is you!"

Pride can be that way. It makes you believe you're right. It makes you believe you're superior. Thus, it makes you believe your decisions should take supremacy over all regardless who gets hurt. All along you believe that nothing about you has changed.

The good thing with David is he realized what he did and repented before God. He was forgiven but he still had to suffer the consequences of his prideful action.

It says in the Bible, "Pride gos before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall" (Prov. 16:18 NLT). And: "But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted" (Matt. 23:12 NLT).

You don't even have to be a Christian to know what pride can do. A widely-used quote states, "Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make proud."

So how do you protect yourself from pride rearing up its ugly head before it's too late?

Examine yourself in the light of God's word. "God's word is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged sword and cuts as deep as the place where soul and spirit meet, the place where joints and marrow meet. God's word judges a person's thoughts and intentions" (Hebrews 4:12 GW).

This is how David puts it as translated in the New Living Translation: "Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me, test my motives and affections" (Psalm 26:2 NLT).

We open ourselves to Biblical scrutiny when we desire to live by its precepts. The more we get deeper into God's word, the more constant and continuous is our self-examination. Humility is then sought after, pride is exposed and Christ-likeness becomes the motive.

(Note: If you don't know the story of the Good Samaritan, read it first: Luke 10:30-35)

1. He didn't make excuses not to help the man. What kind of excuses could he have given? I'm too busy. I'm in a hurry. I have to feed my children. I'm late for church service. What excuses could the priest and Levite be thinking of as they passed the badly-beaten man? How many times have we done the same when someone badly needed our helping hand?

2. He didn't withhold anything to help the man. The story tells us that the Samaritan bandaged the man. Perhaps he tore off parts of his clothing to do that. He also placed the man on his horse, opting to walk instead. Then he even gave the innkeeper money and promised to give more if needed. To help the man, the Samaritan was willing to give of himself and what he had. It's a picture of love in action. In contrast, the actions of the priest and Levite are pictures of denial. Love heals; apathy adds insult to injury.

3. He didn't say a word. He didn't condemn the man. He didn't blame him for falling into a bad situation. He didn't try to speak words of encouragement (would it have helped?). He just went and helped the man and even took him to a place of safety. The only time he spoke was when he promised the innkeeper to return and pay any extra expense. The Samaritan didn't walk the talk. He moved and it said mountains about what love really means.

4. He didn't stop with a one-time help. He promised he would return and pay the innkeeper back for extra expenses incurred. A lesser person would have stopped with taking the man to the inn and say that he'd done enough. Perhaps so. Yet, love is doing more than enough.

That's what Jesus did: more than enough; much more, in fact. And that is what is expected of Christians, to go beyond the ordinary. Jesus promised that to his followers, that they would do greater things (John 14:12)!

Christian, what are you prepared to do?